Alex :: 04-14-2020
Thank you Alex for your email!
Fact is that life is amazing, fascinating, interesting, mysterious…
Kind of… maybe… really?!!
"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
There is something in us that distorts our experience of Life.
Being practical starts with knowing the instrument, your tool, with which you perceive and label life: your own mind.
When our foundation/understanding/thinking is faulty or shaky then the whole structure is unstable.
"... a house build on sand"
What is mind, and what is beyond thinking?
How do I know that I have found what I am longing for?
What do I really want?
To me this question immediately brings me back to “who am I?”
Does Alex meditate, sit quietly, effortlessly without trying to get anywhere or to change anything?
Just to calm the waves of the mind, to see and feel what is usually too gentle to be noticed.
“Truth is simple, but the seeker is complex”.
Our delusion and confusion is created by our own ’thinking mind’. It itself is a gift that makes us suffer in order to re-discover our Source, Core, Self, Being, God, … beyond words.
Thinking is powerful and we need to learn how to use it naturally, normally.
Thinking itself wants to be still, but can’t, because we overlook the most fun-da-mental:
We overlook our own Being, the subtle sense of I AM -- I am aware, I exist.
We don't honor this most simple Presence because we are afraid to turn within, we are easily intimidated by thoughts, feelings, memories, assumptions, projections...
Thinking makes everything complicated, if we don't know our Self as ourself.
Ego is not a ’thing’ but an unaware, immature functioning inside of us.
It is a defending of the old ways, it fights for familiarity, even if the familiarity is misery! Ego can work our whole life -- unbeknownst -- and make us feel miserable.
Roger’s teaching is amazing for me right now, because it helps me to see many traps, many ways how I sho(o)t myself into my own foot.
Don’t be too absolute, be playful, open, interested; listen to the teaching and explore your own resistance, expectations, attachments to outcome... look and feel what IS here and now.
The happiness Roger talks about is not a consumable, it is nothing that makes sense to the seeker, who is his own stumbling block.
Be patient and as much as possible turn inward and rest your mind as I AM:
First as a thought, then as a fuzzy feeling, then as a Presence, then as God/Love/Life, then as Alex, just being and doing whatever needs to be done.
You are God's favorite!
Don't bother with explanations, and temporary appearances... whatever comes goes!
Feel "I am, I exits" -- at the core of your Being.
No ego, no spiritual gymnastics!
Don't be afraid of some healthy meekness or humility, in case it comes up.
Knowing God is this and that...
Forget any childish idea about anything.
You don't need a mediator to explain reality to you!
Explore and discover for your Self.
Forget about any expectation!
Forget about any attachment to outcome.
Do this just during your meditations as often as you like.
We are so full with childish ideas and don't even admit it.
We can talk for lifetimes and never discover that we always overlook the most obvious:
I AM aware of thoughts,
I AM aware of feelings,
I AM aware of expectations towards my person,
I AM aware of longing, fear, uncomfortableness.
I AM aware of my body!
Yet we don't know who or what I am beyond our thinking mind.
"The one thing the separate self cannot stand is being clearly seen. To see the separate self clearly is to see its non-existence."
Who AM I?
The answer is a gentle seeing and feeling untouched by our conditioned thinking.
The answer is not in words or concepts, but in an immediate allowing of what IS.
"know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Truth is that which never changes!
What in you does never change, but your awareness!
A very subtle point, because we are habitually only interested in the objects we are aware of, including thoughts and feelings, but we overlook the Knower, Awareness.
Discover I AM as faceless, formless Awareness, becoming aware of itself.
It is ridiculously simple, natural, generous, loving; but when we look through the lens of our conditioned thinking mind then it does not register, besides being empty and boring.
Your life, your harmony, synchronicity, supply comes from knowing I AM; from spending time at the well; your inner well, God/Source, from where Life flows.
Be gentle. Common thinking is mostly harsh, cold, clunky, stubborn and limited.
Roger’s teaching fits perfectly my moment in time, it shines the light of curiosity, discovery and knowing into so many dark corners of my own person.
There is a deep pain and resistance in every person; an uncomfortableness, confusion, willfulness.
Pretend a little trust!
Life is wonderful and precious, don’t waste it!
There is a subtle difference between love and preferences.
Love is real. God is Love.
Not as an empty cliché, not as some empty dull words, but as an immediate intimate Presence beyond words. Not as a fuzzy feeling, a memory, or a future hope, but alive in you as you, right here now!
With love,
Holger